One, Two, Three, Four…C’mon! Lift Those Legs!
August 10th, 2006
So last night, post-elliptical, Angela and I were lying on mats in the stretch area of the gym. She’s come up with a new combination of sit-ups that make me deeply unhappy. And as I’m panting through them, wondering if I might die right there and then in the middle of 24-Hour Fitness, she starts counting our reps out loud in an unusually perky tone.
Angela is many things: brilliant, gorgeous, funny, graceful. But perky? It’s not the Angela I know.
So anyway, she’s counting. And in our many, many months of going to the gym together I’ve never heard her do this. At least not in such a loud, happy voice. As I’m trying to reconcile all this in my mind, I suddenly hear her say, “Wow. All this counting is bringing me back to my aerobics days.”
I stop. Because I’m stunned, and also because I can’t possibly use my abdominal muscles to hold my legs and torso away from the floor for another second.
Thud. “What?”
“The counting. It’s reminding me of my aerobics days.”
I consider what this might mean. And then understand exactly what it DOES mean. “Oh my god. Were you an aerobics instructor?”
If you don’t know Angela, trust me on this one: it’s a shocking and hilarious piece of information. Not to mention that all this time, when I thought I was going to the gym with someone as equally exercise-challenged as myself, I’ve been panting on the elliptical next to a former aerobics instructor! I’m horrified.
So after another ab workout - which consists of me laughing so hard that is hurts - we resume our sit-ups. And now she’s really laying it on thick, barking counts at me like she’s Jamie Lee Curtis in “Perfect”. And even though I know she taught in the 90’s, and she swears she only wore shorts and a t-shirt, I now cannot stop picturing Angela in leg warmers.
That is so fantastic.
Now *I’m* picturing Angela in leg warmers. Ha!
As if Angela isn’t completely captivating in current form, now I picture her in leg warmers. A vision, to be sure. I’d be tempted to leave my wonderful husband for her if leg warmers were the rule…
Ummm, Angela? Our Cafe Chloe, Suburu wagon loving Angela? I hope she still has her mixed cassette tape of sugary, high energy tunes. If she does maybe she can lead us all through her version of a grape vine. Maybe for the bridal shower?
Angela should stay out of the public eye for awhile and wait for this to all blow over.